The Cold (Episode 713)
First Aired: Sunday, 12th March, 2006
Teleplay: Debora Cahn
Story: Debora Cahn and Lauren Schmidt
Director: Alex Graves





The Cold? More like The Hot! Although these aren't all Josh and Donna scenes, strictly speaking,
something tells me no one will mind in the slightest. Enjoy ... after all this time, we deserve it!












FINALLY, THE MOMENT WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR FOR SEVEN!! YEARS!!
Hotel corridor / Josh's room, 5 a.m. I. Have. No. Other. Words. (except maybe SQUEEE!)

(After the new poll results are out with good news for Santos, Donna and Bram go door-to-door to rouse the campaign staff and share the joy)
DONNA: Up! Everybody up! Good morning! (Bram accidentally knocks on the elevator door) That's the elevator! We're up in California!
(Donna reaches room 811 and knocks. No answer. She knocks again, and a voice is heard from inside.)
JOSH: Yeah ... yeah I'm coming.
(half-asleep, Josh opens the door, wearing boxers and a wrinkled blue shirt. Donna pushes past him into his room.)
DONNA: State by states are out. We're tied in South Carolina and Arkansas and California.
JOSH: (beginning to wake up) California?
DONNA: We pulled ahead in Arizona, Nevada, Virginia--we got the new national tracking polls--
JOSH: The Times?
DONNA: It's 44-44. We're tied.
JOSH: (whispers) We're tied?
DONNA: Nationally.
JOSH: (his eyes go wide, his jaw drops and he literally squeals with excitement) Holy mother of God, we got him!
DONNA: (grinning) Yes!
JOSH: (still squealing) We caught him!
(Josh cups his hands around Donna's neck and pulls her to him for a happy, congratulatory kiss. On the lips. He pulls back, and she continues to beam at him, still high from the victory of the polling results, but now he simply stares at her intensely. Still cupping her neck, he leans in towards her again for another kiss that simply explodes with nearly a decade's worth of sexual tension. Donna responds in kind, wrapping her arms around him and holding him tightly as the door begins to close ...)





(... and the camera pans to Santos, Bram, Ronna and the other staffers rowdily approaching Josh's room from the corridor)

SANTOS: Josh! (Santos pushes Josh's door open and enters, followed by the rest of the staffers, to reveal Josh, separated from Donna and running a hand through his hair) Are they messing with me? (Josh shakes his head and the room bursts into cheering and clapping as Josh hugs Santos, then Bram)








Hi.
Santos motorcade. Josh and Donna ride with each other. (heh)

(Josh gets into the backseat of a waiting Suburban, to find Donna sitting across from him. She's fiddling with her handbag as he enters, and looks up to see him looking at her.)
JOSH: (whispers) Hi.
DONNA: (tentatively, almost meekly) Hi.








It Was Bound To Happen Sometime
Santos rally. As Santos speaks in the background, Josh, Donna, Ronna and Bram discuss Bono--er, Santos's strategy in California.

RONNA: ... A rally in San Diego as soon as we arrive, visits to two of the shelters holding evacuees from San Andreo ...
DONNA: Is he talking about the accident?
JOSH: Nothing about the accident, nothing about nuclear power--he's just sharing some ideas about health care and education with a couple of cooling towers in the background.
(Bram joins them)
BRAM: We've got a lot of new friends suddenly.
JOSH: Who?
BRAM: Governor Watley, Governor Stockwell, Secretary of Energy, Treasury Secretary, Senator Pallard ...
JOSH: How many times did I call Stockwell and Pallard?
BRAM: A lot.
DONNA: That was before we grew coattails.
JOSH: Well, better late than never. Put them on the schedule. (to Bram) Why are you looking at me like that?
BRAM: Bono called.
(they all stop dead in their tracks)
RONNA: (excitedly) Bono?
JOSH: Really?
BRAM: Yeah. He's in New York this weekend. He wants to have dinner with the Congressman.
DONNA: (to Josh) Do it!
BRAM: We're not in New York this weekend.
RONNA: (urgently) Change the schedule!
DONNA: Bono wants to meet him?
RONNA: Does he want to perform at a rally?
BRAM: We didn't get into specifics.
DONNA: He doesn't have to sing--they could just talk about debt relief.
RONNA: (almost unintelligbly by this point) Oh, you talked to him!
BRAM: I talked to a guy named Phil.
JOSH: Okay, invite him to San Diego. (Ronna literally bounces up and down with unbridled glee)
BRAM: Phil?
JOSH: (smirking at Bram's obliviousness) Not Phil.
(he and Donna leave Bram and a practically hysterical Ronna behind and continue walking)
DONNA: The press will be on the tarmac in San Diego and you need to be available all day for phone interviews.
JOSH: Yup.
DONNA: I'm getting a lot of questions on what Santos thinks about Kazakhstan.
JOSH: Tell them Congressman Santos applauds the President's efforts and is glad the U.S. can share its wisdom with emerging democracies--then call the White House and find out what the hell is going on.
DONNA: If Bono comes--
JOSH: You'll meet him. (she flashes him a quick smile before walking away) Uh, Donna? (As she turns around, Josh takes off his sunglasses, then opens and closes his mouth a couple of times, not quite sure how to proceed. Donna walks back towards him.) I want to, um ... (he smiles) ... I'm sorry. Uh ... (he opens his mouth, then closes it) ... about this morning, it was ... (he shakes his head slightly, eyebrows raised) ... inappropriate.
DONNA: Don't worry about it.
JOSH: Totally inappropriate. I--I feel terrible.
DONNA: Don't. (she smiles)
JOSH: Seriously.
DONNA: Seriously. (still smiling, she nods) It was bound to happen sometime. I'm going to call the White House, talk about Kazakhstan. (she walks away and all he can do is stare after her, mouth agape)








This Must Be What Your First Smack High Feels Like
Santos rally / CJ's office. Josh and CJ pick up their phones at the same time.

CJ: Hey, sailor.
JOSH: Am I calling you or are you calling me?
CJ: I think I'm calling you. How's it feel?
JOSH: This must be what your first smack high feels like. (the camera cuts to Donna, as seen by Josh, who is obliviously speaking with Bram off in the distance)
CJ: Well, here's hoping it's not followed by a huge crash and years of rehabilitation.
JOSH: Nothing could kill my mood right now, but that was a good try.








The Gods Were Listening To Me, And They Love Me!
Santos rally. Josh and Donna walk and talk.

JOSH: Hey, you've got to get on a plane. Liaise with White House Communications on, uh--
DONNA: --the Kazakhstan thing, Lou told me. I'm on my way. I just wanted to tell you about a rumour I heard from a guy at the Sacramento Bee.
JOSH: You feek bad for the guys at the Bee, don't you?
DONNA: I don't.
JOSH: It lacks dignity.
DONNA: You're wandering.
JOSH: You heard a rumour?
DONNA: At first I thought it was allergies, because apparently Vinick has a mold sensitivity and the carpet on the plane isn't all that clean--
JOSH: Now you're wandering.
DONNA: Sorry--they think he has a cold.
JOSH: Vinick?
DONNA: Yes.
JOSH: Oh, my Lord. (he squeals with unbridled glee) A cold!
(Bram approaches with a sheet of paper)
BRAM: Fax from Lester at HQ--
JOSH: (breaking out into a grin, he is almost as unintelligible as Ronna was talking about Bono) He has ... a cold! (Josh seems as though he's about to hug Donna, changes his mind, tackles Bram in a bearhug, then turns to Annabeth, who has approached the group, and picks her up) The gods were listening to me, and they love me!
ANNABETH: Why is there hugging?
DONNA: Vinick has a cold.
ANNABETH: Oh, that's precious.
(Josh abruptly drops Annabeth, who is completely unfazed by all this, to the ground)
JOSH: Oh, I want to send him some Vicks VapoRub and a big German nurse!
ANNABETH: I have White House schedulers on the phone, and they seem to think Leo has to be at the White House tonight.
JOSH: No, seriously, give me the phone. (he takes her phone) Hi, this is Josh Lyman, who's this? ... Hi, Roberta ... Mr. McGarry can't make it to the White House tonight. He's campaigning for high government office ... Ah, I'm sure it was a mistake ... Thank you. (he hangs up and passes the phone back to Annabeth)
ANNABETH: (impressed) Thanks! Sorry.
JOSH: No worries. Bureaucratic snafu. (he pats her on the back almost indulgently as she leaves, then turns to Donna, smiling) So, are they writing about this wonderful cold?
DONNA: They will be.
JOSH: Are they writing about the fact that the Senator's health can't stand up to the rigours of the campaign, never mind the challenges of life in the Oval Office? (his mobile phone starts to ring)
DONNA: He's probably depressed--he hasn't been in a close race in 30 years.
JOSH: Beginning of the end, right here. (into the phone) Josh Lyman.
WHITE HOUSE OPERATOR: Mr. Lyman, please hold for the President.
BARTLET: Hey, kid. How you doing?
JOSH: Fine, Sir, how are you?
BARTLET: Good, good. Do me a favour--bring Leo with you to the White House tonight, would you?
JOSH: Sir, we--
BARTLET: You should tag along and say hello--it'd be great to see you. Thanks, Josh. (hangs up)
DONNA: What?
JOSH: We're going to the White House tonight ... Leo, the Congressman, everyone.








Yours Is Josh--You're Not Cryptic
Corridors of the West Wing / Bullpen / Will's office. Donna meets up with Will and broaches an awkward--and apparently, classified!--subject with him.

DONNA: Will.
WILL: Hey, look at you back in the building. (they walk down the corridor) Congratulations on your forward surge.
DONNA: Can you believe it? We're all walking 10 feet off the ground.
WILL: Are you going to go visit your old desk?
(they enter the bullpen)
DONNA: Uh, not a lot of nostalgia there, really.
WILL: I've got the talking points on the Kazakhstan negotiations, but Vinick's press guy is running late, so we should give it a minute.
DONNA: Sure.
WILL: Want a soda?
DONNA: I'm fine.
WILL: (trying to entice her) I'm going to have a ginger ale.
DONNA: Good. Good. (from the doorway of his office) Can I ask you a question?
WILL: (he looks up from his report) Sure.
DONNA: It's ... going to sound a little wacky.
WILL: Go for it.
DONNA: If something had happened with us, when we were working ... romantically ... would that have been inappropriate?
WILL: Wow. Uh ... I'm flattered--
DONNA: Oh, no, no!
WILL: --but I'm actually seeing someone in a very non-public and poorly-defined way.
DONNA: No, not you. I was talking about someone like you with your job. In relation ... to me.
WILL: You're talking about Josh?
DONNA: (at the same time) You're seeing someone?
WILL: (at the same time) You're seeing Josh?
DONNA: No ...
WILL: Then who?
DONNA: I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours.
WILL: Yours is Josh--you're not cryptic.
DONNA: And yours is ...?
WILL: Classified.
DONNA: Nothing happened with me and Josh at all. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought this up. (she walks over to him and feigns interest in perusing his report) We should drop it.
WILL: Good idea. (he looks at her not unkindly, considering things for a moment) It's not inappropriate. Seeing someone. It's weird, maybe, but you'll figure it out. (Donna looks at him and nods slightly)








We Had An Odd Moment Today
Lobby of the West Wing. CJ and Donna talk about the "Josh thing".

CJ: Hey, stranger!
DONNA: Hi!
CJ: Will bring you up to speed?
DONNA: Yes! I'm just hanging here until the (CJ kisses her on the cheek and sits down next to Donna) Congressman and everybody gets in.
CJ: It's so good to see you.
DONNA: You too.
CJ: (smiling) You must be having a good day.
DONNA: Amazing.
CJ: How's Josh?
DONNA: What do you mean?
CJ: Which part tripped you up?
DONNA: Oh. You're--you're just--
CJ: Asking how he is.
DONNA: Oh. Sorry. He's um ... (she looks up at the ceiling for a moment, then gives CJ an overly-bright smile) ... he's fine. Happy we're doing so well.
CJ: What's going on?
DONNA: Nothing.
CJ: Is something--is the Josh thing going on?
DONNA: No! No, no, no, no.
CJ: Something happened.
DONNA: Nothing.
CJ: Oh, come on, you've got a useless poker face. I spent my whole day talking about election monitors in Central Asia, throw me a bone.
DONNA: It's nothing. (she looks up at the ceiling again, trying to be blasé, but is unable to suppress a smile) We just ... we had an odd moment today. Just another in a long series of odd moments meant to be ignored. You should (she takes a breath and exhales) focus on your election monitors.
CJ: (muttering) They're a complete failure.
DONNA: That's too bad.
CJ: It is.
(In the distance, Vinick and his staff enter the lobby)
DEBBIE: (to Vinick) Would you come with me, please?
VINICK: (as he passes CJ and Donna) Evening.
CJ: Senator.
(his staff follow him, the last of which is Bruno, who gives CJ and Donna a look as he passes)
DONNA: Wow ... I don't like how that looks.
CJ: Yeah.








Little Too Close To The Oval For My Taste
Corridor of the West Wing. Donna, Josh and the rest of the Santos contingent are led to the Roosevelt Room.

DONNA: Vinick just came through ... I think they put him in the Mural Room.
JOSH: Little too close to the Oval for my taste.








Although there's no direct dialogue spoken between Josh and Donna in this scene, after Annabeth announces she is "a little teary" from the teamwork that resulted in creating the new Santos slogan, Donna grins and picks up the phone while Josh gives her a significant, serious look.












I'm Turning In
Outdoor patio, Capitol Grand hotel. Josh joins the party as Bram, Donna, Ronna and Edie are served drinks.

DONNA: (to Bram) Did you have a "this is my size" conversation with the butt brigade?
BRAM: We dealt with the relevant information.
RONNA: Oh, my God--you got a phone number, didn't you?
BRAM: I'm not at liberty to share that information.
(Unseen by the others, Donna pulls a small envelope containing her hotel key from her coat, and nervously turns it over and over in her hands)
RONNA: From the butt girl?
EDIE: (to Bram) You're plummeting in my estimation right now. (to Josh, as he approaches them) How'd it go?
JOSH: Fine.
BRAM: What'd they talk about?
JOSH: You, actually. In the Oval. All three of them. (everyone laughs)
DONNA: Bram's dating one of the women in the Santos undies.
BRAM: I'm not dating her.
JOSH: That's impressive. Really. Brings honour to the family. (he sits across from Donna)
EDIE: If Bono comes, we are locking him in the Secret Service van.
(Donna steals a look at Josh, who steals a look right back at her as the others continue talking obliviously. Unseen by them, she places a small envelope containing her hotel room key on the table and subtly pushes it towards him.)
BRAM: You're going to be printing "Bono for President" undies and you know it.
RONNA: Well, give me butt girl's number--I'll find out where they make those things.
BRAM: Watch, she's going to order them in every colour--one for each day of the week!
(Josh looks at the key, then looks up at Donna; there is absolutely no mistaking her intention)
DONNA: Okay, order me a pair in pink, I'm turning in. (she takes one last sip of wine for liquid courage as Josh continues to look at her, an unreadable expression on his face) Good night.
EDIE: Good night.
(Josh continues to watch Donna, weighing his options, as she walks towards the hotel and stops to shake hands with a grey-haired man. But as he finally decides to reach for the envelope, Ronna picks it up)
RONNA: Oh, she forgot her key! Donna!
JOSH: (he tries to take the key from Ronna) I got it--
BRAM: She's gone.
EDIE: No, I got it--I'm going up, anyway. (Ronna passes the key to Edie)
JOSH: It's no problem--
EDIE: Well, she's next door to me--you're three floors up.
RONNA: (as Edie leaves) Sweet dreams.
(Josh watches, dismayed, as Edie jogs up to Donna just inside the hotel door and hands her the key. As Edie speaks to Donna, she looks back at Josh, clearly disappointed. Josh smiles very slightly and looks at her with a sad, serious expression that he continues to wear even after Donna walks away.)




Many thanks to Misdirection for the wonderful, awesome, fantastic screencaps!