JOSH: Where the hell is Donna?
TOBY: Leave her alone. She's having a last night with ... what's his name?
JOSH: I called her at Jack's and I paged her--
TOBY: Leave her alone.
CJ: Danny's got a piece out tomorrow on fault lines between the White House and the Pentagon.
TOBY: He writes that story twice a year.
CJ: The researcher gathering background spoke to three people ... one of whom was Donna, because your office is one of the places that keeps breakdowns of how Pentagon staff are detailed to the White House. The researcher was given an unprompted quote, which he gave to Danny's editor, who put it in the piece.
JOSH: What was the quote?
CJ: "Everyone's very loyal to everyone else around here unless you wear a uniform."
JOSH: (beat) I know it sounds like it was Donna because of the situation with Jack, but there's no way she gives that quote to a reporter.
CJ: She didn't think she was on the record.
JOSH: There's no way Donna said that.
CJ: She did. She just called me and told me she did, which I give her credit for.
JOSH: You do.
TOBY: Heat of the moment ... bad timing--
JOSH: You think? (CJ and Toby look at him) I don't have time for this now, neither do you.
DANNY: Hey! Congratulations--this is something. (beat) Sorry about the story yesterday.
JOSH: Wasn't your fault.
DANNY: Where is she?
JOSH: (beat) Donna?
JOSH: (slightly accusatory) She's sitting in her apartment, in a ballgown.
DANNY: Waiting for a ball to come over?
JOSH: She doesn't think it's appropriate for her to be here. I couldn't talk her down.
DANNY: How hard did you try?
JOSH: I tried hard.
DANNY: She didn't think she was on the record. I'm not sure if my editor knew that when--
JOSH: Doesn't matter.
DANNY: Yeah. (beat) I thought the balance of the piece was--
JOSH: (deadpans) I haven't read it. Sorry. I haven't.
DANNY: I've got a copy here if you want it.
JOSH: You run around with a copy of it?
DANNY: Well, I think parts of it are pretty good. Hey, when you won a Fulbright scholarship, you taped the letter to your face.
JOSH: Yeah, here it is ... "Said one White House aide, 'We've got a situation--'
DANNY: The point actually was to read all the other parts ... (he trails off, seeing the mutinous look on Josh's face)
JOSH: "'--where the While House won't give the DOD an extra 10 billion, so they have to go to the Hill and get it.' Said the same aide, 'Everyone's very loyal around here, unless you wear a uniform.'" (he frowns, mulling something over his head) Said the same aide. (to Danny) I haven't read the first part of the quote. (he frowns again, the wheels still turning) Said the same aide? (suddenly, he realises what must have happened) I'm going to kill her.
TOBY: (to driver) Why don't you stick around for a minute. (shouts to others) We're just going to be a minute, right?
JOSH: Quick review--
TOBY: So wait just one minute!
JOSH: It's good cop/bad cop--I'm the good cop, the four of you are the bad cops. Will, what are you?
WILL: The bad cop.
JOSH: Danny, what are you?
DANNY: The bad cop.
JOSH: Toby, what are you?
TOBY: Hurry up!
JOSH: Charlie, who are you?
CHARLIE: I love Zoey and I must have her back.
JOSH: The bad cop, that's right. (Josh runs up to the front door of Donna's apartment building while the others wait by the taxi, freezing)
WILL: That's great news about Zoey. I didn't meet her, but I bet she's nice.
CHARLIE: Not really, but my love for her knows no bounds.
DANNY: Charlie, aren't you cold without a coat?
CHARLIE: I took off my coat to show my love for Zoey.
CHARLIE: I'd take off my shirt, too, but it's inappropriate with the tuxedo.
DANNY: Not if we were at Chippendale's.
TOBY: (aggrieved) I'm standing here!
JOSH: The buzzer's not working!
TOBY: Did you try it?
JOSH: No, I divined it!
DANNY: Maybe she's just not answering.
JOSH: The buzzer's not working--there's a note that says the buzzer's not working.
JOSH: No. I know women. I know what they like. (he shouts up to her second storey window) DONNA!
DANNY: I think before the night's over we might have ourselves a whole new story. (Toby chuckles)
(Donna doesn't respond to Josh's yelling, so he makes a snowball and lobs it at her window using his best baseball pitcher wind-up. It misses, but the others soon join in, and before you know it, all five of them are heaving snowballs at Donna's window--most of which also miss--and having a grand old time.)
JOSH: Yeah! (he finally throws one that hits its mark) Yes! (Donna appears at the window, which is still being pelted with snowballs, and raises it, several snowballs barely missing her as she does)
DONNA: What the hell are you doing?
JOSH: Get down here, now!
DONNA: Keep your voice down!
JOSH: Don't even think about telling me where to keep my voice! Get down here!
DONNA: I'm coming.
NEIGHBOUR #1: Hey! Now I'm telling you--keep your voice down!
NEIGHBOUR #2: Me too!
JOSH: (yelling up to them) Oh no, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you guys! This is a special situation! It's okay--I'm the good cop!
TOBY: (into his mobile phone) Hi, National Enquirer?
JOSH: You came out here without a coat?
DONNA: I need you to keep your voice down. (Josh immediately takes off his coat and rushes over to wrap it around her shoulders as they walk over to the sidewalk) Go ahead, you're entitled--give it all to me again.
JOSH: You don't know the White House rejected 10 billion for the DOD--you have absolutely no way of knowing that. Jack said it. The researcher called Jack, and Jack said it.
DONNA: (beat) He was working a lot of nights, and it really wore him out--
DONNA: And then this thing happened and he didn't think he was on the record.
DONNA: He didn't, Josh. That was legitimate.
JOSH: He's letting you take the credit for this?
DONNA: Listen, this guy's got an important career ahead of him.
JOSH: Your career isn't important? What was the point of anyone claiming ... (he trails off, as the last piece of the puzzle suddenly slides into place) You knew it was easy to figure out it was him.
DONNA: Not as easy as you made it. I didn't think about the--
JOSH: There's a list of things you didn't think about--including your job, what the President thinks of you--
DONNA: Does he know about this?
JOSH: He's about to. (they stare at each other intensely for several moments, until Josh is struck by a thought of a very different nature) You look amazing.
DONNA: (though visibly flushed and unable to suppress a grin, she has no idea how to respond to that, other than ...) Hi guys!
WILL, TOBY, CHARLIE and DANNY: Hi Donna.
DONNA: I'm sorry about all this.
TOBY: Don't worry about it.
DANNY: It was stupid, but it was menschy.
JOSH: Hey! Hey, hey--good cop, bad cop!
DANNY: Sorry. It was just stupid.
DONNA: Hey, Will ... you and Toby wrote maybe the greatest speech I've ever heard.
WILL: Thank you, very much.
JOSH: (softly) We're going to a ball.
DONNA: Balls are fun.
JOSH: We're actually going to eight of them.
DONNA: Eight times the fun.
JOSH: I was actually the one who hit the window. The rest of them went to school on my throw.
TOBY: (seriously aggrieved now) Go!
(Josh offers his arm to Donna, which she takes as they walk over to the others)
DONNA: How you doing, Charlie?
CHARLIE: Well, I'm going to win Zoey's heart from Jean-Paul.
CHARLIE: Because he may be good looking and rich and well-schooled and French royalty, you know, and live basically in a castle but ... oh, God.
TOBY: This is what I've been telling you. In the car.
(they all get into the taxi, except for Josh and Donna, who hang back on the sidewalk)
DONNA: Josh ... I'm sorry. Seriously. I've never lied to you before, boss, and it won't happen again.
JOSH: You're going to have to sit on somebody's lap. (he smiles at her)
(she smiles back at him radiantly and turns to walk towards the taxi, as Josh follows, still smiling)
JOSH: I remember when you named me deputy--there was a dull buzzing in my ear, or a humming. It was very disorienting.
CJ: The same thing happened to me.
JOSH: (walks over to pat Will on the back) Hang in there, Will. You're doing fine.
DONNA: That was a nice story about the buzzing.
JOSH: Hey, what did I say about speaking to me without addressing me as "wild thing"?
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