Inauguration (Part 1) (Episode 414)
First Aired: Wednesday, 5th February 2003
Teleplay: Aaron Sorkin
Writers: Michael Oates Palmer and William Sind
Director: Christopher Misiano

I Don't Want To Know How You Know That
Josh's office. Donna enters with their Inaugural Ball tickets.

JOSH: Yeah?
DONNA: The tickets came.
JOSH: For?
DONNA: The balls.
JOSH: Could you hang on to mine for me until Sunday?
DONNA: Yeah.
JOSH: Thanks.
DONNA: You know what Jack'll be wearing? (beat) A sabre.
JOSH: God, Donna, please tell me that's not going to be the only thing he's wearing.
DONNA: No, he'll be wearing his dress blues. Warfare pin, submarine officer pin, two commendation medals, meritorious unit, Purple Heart, Bronze Cross and a sabre.
JOSH: I'll be wearing a tuxedo from Gary's. Who's been on the phone?
DONNA: Confused people from the State Department.
JOSH: They decided to change the foreign policy language 20 minutes ago. How do they know already?
DONNA: They want to know why their public affairs director was asked to meet with Will Bailey.
JOSH: The President's asked Toby and Will to look at the language.
DONNA: Okay.
JOSH: Keep the President out of it--I've asked Toby and Will to look at the language.
DONNA: All right.
JOSH: Thanks.
DONNA: (beat) Thirteen buttons on the trousers.
JOSH: I don't want to know how you know that.
(Josh smiles at her and she grins back and leaves, while he watches her walk away)

That's Got To Be A Pretty Critical Lap Dance
Josh's office. Donna knocks and enters, looking mildly anxious.

JOSH: Yep?
DONNA: What's up?
JOSH: Hmm?
DONNA: I just said what's up--what are you doing?
JOSH: Wondering whether the Nuclear Regulatory Commission really needs $100,000 for a morale improvement program--that's got to be a pretty critical lap dance.
DONNA: I went down to Jack's office last night, and he was using the NSC lock on the door--which he never has before.
JOSH: Did you knock?
DONNA: Yeah.
JOSH: And?
DONNA: He let me in.
JOSH: That was a good story.
DONNA: I wanted to make plans for getting together around midnight, and he said he couldn't, because it will be morning where he needs to talk to some people.
JOSH: Donna--
DONNA: What's halfway around the world?
JOSH: Most of the homes and offices of the people who live on this planet.
DONNA: He had a fax, from the Commander of the Seventh Fleet, about forward units in the North Atlantic and Mediterranean.
JOSH: What was he doing showing you a fax from the Commander of the Seventh Fleet?
DONNA: Showing off for me.
JOSH: Fantastic.
DONNA: He wasn't showing me a classified signal intercept.
JOSH: How do you know what he was showing you?
DONNA: I don't. He does. (beat) Is the Joint Task Force being--
JOSH: Are you serious with these questions?
DONNA: He's been sealed off for almost 24 hours and everything strikes me as strange.
JOSH: Let it strike you that way, and please find out what they mean by morale improvement programs. I'm going to get back to, you know, actual people.

Not a Josh and Donna scene, but I think Josh's eye colour has officially changed from brown to green ...

Would It Be Weird If I Just Walked Around With A Military Dress Sabre?
Charlie's Office. Josh muses out loud while he waits to see the President.

JOSH: Would it be weird if I just walked around with a military dress sabre?
CHARLIE: Mmm-hmm.
JOSH: Okay. He's in his security briefing?
CHARLIE: I'll let him know you're here.
JOSH: A navy dress uniform has 13 buttons on the pants. (beat) I mean, tradition's tradition, but I'd be concerned about the level of bladder discipline that requires, wouldn't you?
JOSH: Nothing.

Thank You, Sir
Outside the Oval Office / Corridors of the West Wing / Bullpen. Josh finds Donna after speaking with the President.

JOSH: What's going on?
DONNA: I don't know what's going on--but Jack's been reassigned.
JOSH: To where?
DONNA: Aviano.
JOSH: Air Force Base?
DONNA: Yes. Aviano Air Force Base.
JOSH: When?
DONNA: He got his orders.
JOSH: What happened?
DONNA: I don't know. He said he was asked to do something, he did it, he got a slap on the wrist and he wouldn't tell me more than that.
JOSH: The reality of those fast-track Navy guys is they're going to bop around the globe a lot.
DONNA: He was here less than three months--plus he said something happened.
JOSH: He can't begin to conceive of the internal politics at the Pentagon. Right now, Hutchinson and his boys--
DONNA: He worked here. This is internal politics of the White House.
JOSH: Well, no one's told me anything about it, and I'm not going to ask.
DONNA: He said he was asked to do something for somebody. It can only be Nancy, Leo or the President.
JOSH: Three doors you definitely want to knock on to complain about your boyfriend being transferred to the Italian Alps.
DONNA: Hey, I'm not Gidget, okay? Something--
JOSH: Is he complaining?
DONNA: He doesn't complain.
JOSH: I ask you that because sometimes people request transfers.
DONNA: Somebody asked him to do something and he did it. I take him at his word, as should you. There'd be no reason not to. (beat) Is there anything you need?
JOSH: (stares at her) No.
DONNA: (icily) Thank you, sir.
(Donna storms off as Charlie gingerly approaches Josh, having witnessed the tail end of their exchange)
JOSH: Jack Reese got transferred.
CHARLIE: Well, I've got my own Beach Boys song going on.
JOSH: If you tell me you've got a crush on Reese--
CHARLIE: Jean-Pierre is sitting next to her in the friends and family section.
JOSH: Zoey's lover?
CHARLIE: Is it important that you call him that?
JOSH: Isn't his name Jean-Paul?
CHARLIE: Are we going to be be together on this?
JOSH: Yes.

Many thanks to The West Wing Collection for the wonderful screencaps!