JOSH: I think we better head back.
DONNA: He's wrapping up!
CATHY: You seem pissed that I brought it up.
TOBY: No, we're just talking.
DONNA: We've really got to go now.
JOSH: Donna's a little nervous. A couple of weeks ago, some guys got left behind by the motorcade in Kentucky.
DONNA: It was in Tennessee, and they were never heard from again.
JOSH: They took a cab.
DONNA: Josh ...
CATHY: The 67 billion bought this country the least expensive food and the greatest variety of it in the world, and surely that's got to register--
DONNA: Hang on ...
CATHY: And it's got to register with the peop--
JOSH: She's right--where is it? Where's the motorcade? (he stops two women walking past) Excuse me ... where's the motorcade?
WOMAN: It's out there. (she points to several limousines retreating in the distance)
JOSH: Hey! HEY!
WOMAN: You guys need a button? "Bartlet For America?"
JOSH: I didn't get the trailer car.
DONNA: Hang on.
JOSH: Call Campaign Scheduling and Advance, and tell them--
DONNA: Hang on.
JOSH: You've got to hang up with whomever you're talking to, call Campaign Scheduling and Advance ... (she glares at him) ... unless you're already talking to Campaign Scheduling and Advance.
DONNA: (into phone) Thank you. (to Josh) There's no trailer car today.
JOSH: Good budget cut, good item. Cathy, where's the closest cab?
CATHY: About 110 miles, as the crow flies.
DONNA: What's the best way for me to get these guys to Unionville?
CATHY: We'll take you.
CATHY: Yeah. It'll give me a chance to show you the soy diesel car.
JOSH: Okay, this car ... it can ...?
CATHY: It's a regular car.
CATHY: It's actually Cap's car. He'll come along. Meet us in back of the house.
JOSH: Thank you very much. (to Donna, after Cathy leaves) Who's Cap?
DONNA: I don't know.
JOSH: Toby! Let's go!
DONNA: Never heard from again, Josh.
JOSH: Okay, call the State Office, tell them to send a local volunteer--tell them we don't have time ... you're doing it, right?
DONNA: (on phone) Yeah.
JOSH: This is fun! We're roughing it! (lamely, off Toby's extremely pissed look) ... It's fun.
JOSH: Can we just call ahead and make sure the plane's going to be there when we get there?
DONNA: It'll be there.
JOSH: Can we call ahead?
DONNA: I've been calling--I can't get anyone on their cell. They're in a bad calling area.
JOSH: Well, keep trying.
KIKI: You can't be creepy stalking guy, okay? You're not that guy, Tyler. You're better than that.
DONNA: (mutters) Not that much better.
JOSH: Would you get in there?
JOSH: Tyler, no fooling around--we have 15 minutes to get to a plane that is three miles from here. That plane, I swear to God, is taking off at one o'clock.
TYLER: It's taking off at one.
JOSH: Yes it is.
KIKI: Are you guys stupid or something? It's 1:45 right now.
JOSH: It's 12:45.
KIKI: No, not here it's not.
DONNA: Oh my God, she's right.
TYLER: See ... you crossed over from Unionville into Dearborne County, which doesn't observe Daylight Savings Time.
KIKI's FRIEND: I think it's the other way around, genius.
TYLER: What did I ever do to you?
DONNA: It says in the schedule all times are local--this is why I couldn't get anyone on their cell--
(Too late--Josh and Toby erupt into twin nuttys in the background, pacing around the road ranting and raving, waving their arms and generally freaking out)
JOSH: Wait--no, no--you're not ... we changed time zones? We changed time--we changed time zones!?
TYLER: It's a-a common mistake.
JOSH: Not for the US government!
TOBY: What kind of schmuck-ass system can this--
JOSH: God! That's--God! That's perfect!
TOBY: How-how ... I-I-I-I don't understand--how-how ...
JOSH: This is perfect! This is just the break I'm looking for!
TOBY: What-what-what, people ... they just--they just ... they-they reset their watches when they commute?
JOSH: I can't take working here!
TOBY: They just change their watches every time they cross a time zone? What is this, a joke?
JOSH: --To serve my country!
DONNA: Okay. This is a whole new thing now. My guys are gonna need to walk this off a little bit, before they can regroup. Kiki, you and your friends get back to school. Tyler, you and I are going to come up with a plan to get us to a commercial airport.
JOSH: Can we have a civilization--
TYLER: How long are they gonna be?
(Toby picks up a stick and smashes it against the metal crash barrier near the bridge)
DONNA: A couple more minutes.
SAM: You got left behind by the motorcade?
JOSH: Yeah ... and then we ran out of gas, and then there was a time zone foul up, and also we were waylayed by some mean schoolgirls--alpha girls, you know what I'm saying?
JOSH: They were!
JOSH: It's Monday.
DONNA: Yeah, why?
JOSH: Nothing. It's just something I said. (to Toby and Tyler) All right, ten minutes--we get this stuff to go.
DONNA: Out in the parking lot, when you said it was Monday, I flashed on the song. A few days ago, someone told me that a girl shot up her school one morning, and when they asked her why, she said, "I don't like Mondays", and that's where the song comes from.
DONNA: You knew that?
DONNA: That's where the song comes from?
JOSH: (sighs) Yeah.
DONNA: I'm sorry about the time zones!